A Dragon Called Ranma II
by GrimmZ
Summary: When trouble rises in Rubadub again, Ryoga is unhappily dragged back to save the day. This time Ranma is coming along too, maybe Ryoga will save the day and stop maniacal Nabiatrix, maybe Ranma will find a deeper appreciation of Akane ... but I doubt it.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2, the characters in this story are fictional, similarity to any real persons, places, or event is coincidental and unintentional.  
  
A Dragon Named Ranma II  
Prologue  
A Kingdom Born of Fire  
  
Note: For those of you who didn't read A Dragon Named Ranma, the past versions of the Ranma ½ cast look identical to the future versions, but have slightly different personalities. Also they aren't cursed, though Ranma did get turned into a two headed dragon, and Cologne (The Great Grand Monster) was a giant.  
  
The streets of Bubblybub were thriving, merchants and shoppers filled the market place, children ran through the streets busy at play, and wagon drivers shouted horrific obscenities as they swerved and crashed into each other trying to avoid the playing children. It was a beautiful sight.  
Only a year after the war that had resulted in the slaughter of most of it's people the kingdom of Rubadub was back to it's normal, vibrant self, even more so now that they had made an alliance with Dirt, pilgrims from both lands migrated back and forth as the two cultures merged together at record speed.  
Sounthur chuckled at the sight, and turned to his former First Knight Genmalot, "Beautiful, is it not?"  
"It is encouraging, m'lord." Genmalot nodded.  
Sounthur smiled, Genmalot had been his First Knight until the kingdom came under siege and rather than defending the walls with the other soldiers, the veteran fighter had instead opted to flee with Sounthur's ex-queen Nodokavere, the real betrayal was that Genmalot and Nodokavere used most of the good horses to carry away the palace treasures, so there was no horse for Sounthur to escape on.  
However the two had reconciled, especially since Sounthur had a great need for knights after the crisis with the dragon who was now his son-in-law had depleted his once grand elite force of holy knights. Sounthur simply knew better than to rely on Genmalot in times of crisis.  
But he felt a swell of enthusiasm in his chest, knew that such a time would never again come in his days. He let out a loud laugh, which caused Genmalot's helm to make a squeaking noise as he lifted the visor to raise a questioning eyebrow at his king.  
"I know I am no more than the king of Rubadub, but I feel like the king of the world right now." Sounthur explained. "Everything is going my way, my city is repaired and filled with people, and as a added bonus because most of the men were killed in the war, the female population is six to one, finding a new Queen will be a snap! I might even amend the laws so I can have two!"  
"Good luck with that." Genmalot shrugged. He was the reason Sounthur needed a new queen, and so far Sounthur was having problems meeting a girl who wouldn't start batting her eyelashes at the new First Knight, Ukygowain whenever she thought he wasn't looking. Yes Ukygo was also woman, but she dressed in manly cloths which made it hard to tell at times, her fair face made her the image of a very handsome, almost princely young man.  
"I'll find one. Or two, just in case. And when I do I can finally settle down . . . again, and live out the remainder of my days in luxury." The king's smiled widened. "Better still, Princess Kasumian has married the royal chiropractor whose name I cannot recall–"  
"You see this as a good thing?" Genmalot asked with concern, but Sounthur just continued.  
"The wedding gifts alone refurnished the castle! My second daughter, Nabiatrix will be choosing one of her suitors this very night, which means more wedding gifts, I can furnish the vacation keep, and Arkane has written to me from the castle Sand, everything goes well between her and Prince Ranmorgan, they plan now for a child even. My kingdom thrives, and my seed thrives, and soon I shall see the next generation, how can a man not feel joy at this time?"  
Genmalot shrugged. "You must understand sir, the truth is that our kingdom is quite weak right now, our order of holy knights numbers a mere three, our army is made of up conscripts, with myself and the few dozen veterans the only people in the city with real battle experience we could be invaded by our weakest neighbor and still be hard pressed to repel them."  
"That is what we are here fore." An attractive young man adorned in crimson robes rode up next to them, catching Sounthur by surprise.  
It was the Red Knight of Dirt, Sir. Kaneosuke. "So long as my Red Legion guards your lands, no force, foreign or domestic can threaten your kingdom."  
"The friendship of Prince Ranmorgan of Dirt is indeed lucrative." Sounthur said honestly.  
"I am not sure if Prince Ranmorgan is interested in men . . ." Kaneosuke said apologetically.  
"Lucrative means profitable." Sounthur explained.  
"Ah, I see . . . are you sure? Well in that case, so is a friendship with King Sounthur of Rubadub." Kaneosuke said. "M'lord, I was wondering if perhaps the princess Nabiatrix had left you with any hints as to whom her choice will be?"  
Sounthur chuckled. "She's spoken not a word to me on the matter, but she agreed to make the decision tonight readily enough. I wish you luck Sir Kaneosuke, but my daughter is quite . . . capricious, there's no telling whom she'll choose."  
Kaneosuke let out a hearty laugh. "That is a quality that I love, she is in every way the sort of woman I have dreamt of marrying all my life. Uh . . . if you will excuse me m'lord, I must be going," Kaneosuke said, turning his horse down an alleyway, which caused Sounthur to tilt his head to the side in wonder.  
"I do not like him." Genmalot grunted quietly.  
"Then be glad that it is Nabiatrix, and not yourself that will wed him." Sounthur chuckled.  
"Sire . . . how can you trust this man?"  
"Should I not?" Sounthur asked, confused. "Ranmorgan trusts him."  
"And can you trust Ranmorgan?" Genmalot asked.  
Sounthur laughed. "He is my son-in-law, of course I can trust him. It is not as if he's done anything to lose my trust, it is not as if he has stolen my wife, or abandoned my kingdom in it's time of need."  
Genmalot lowered his gaze and shook his head, but Sounthur decided to ignore it, and continue to enjoy his ride through the market place, completely forgetting about the alley Kaneosuke had gone into.  
  
As evening fell over the kingdom, Princess Nabiatrix examined herself closely in the mirror, searching for even the tiniest flaw in her clothing. Her elder sister, Kasumian was with her, giving her opinion on various outfits.  
Nabiatrix wanted to look perfect. After a year, she had to look perfect.  
Kasumian had assured her that wearing nothing was not an option, though Nabiatrix was fairly certain it would please every man in the room far more than any dress she could ever wear.  
She was not at all thrilled with her father's pressuring her to marry, especially since she'd decided that the road to success would be to remain unwedded. That he had all but demanded she announce her decision tonight had left her in a rage for several hours, however having no choice in the matter, she had already made her decision, and she was certain it was the best one she could have made.  
She smiled into the mirror, indeed, it was the best choice she could have hoped to make, though a part of her regretted the necessity of it. Perhaps she was just being selfish. And yet it was shameful for her, the most attractive of her sisters to remain unmarried, was it not?  
"I believe you have found the perfect garment for tonight." Kasumian said.  
Nabiatrix looked into the mirror, the dress she now wore was indeed beautiful, it was orange, red and gold, when she moved the colors seemed to dance together like flames. 'Fitting.' She thought to herself. "I agree." She said aloud to her sister.  
"I cannot tell you how proud I am of you," Kasumian said, "if our mother were still alive, I am certain that she would feel the same."  
Nabiatrix smiled. "I am glad you feel that way." She said.  
"Is there any chance you'll tell me whom it is you've chosen to be your husband?" Kasumian asked.  
Nabiatrix laughed. "I want that to be a surprise, dear sister."  
"The options are nothing but good, the head of Ranmorgan's Crimson Army, the son of the Principal Regent."  
"And yet you are content with a landless chiropractor." Nabiatrix sighed. "I wonder which of us is truly the fortunate one."  
In the mirror Nabiatrix could see Kasumian was about to say something, likely to comfort her after such a slip of words, but just then a guard knocked on her door, she sighed and bade him to come in.  
"A thousand pardons m'lady, but first kni–uh Sir. Genmalot the Axe is here to see you."  
"Send him in." Nabiatrix sighed.  
Genmalot entered, his armor squeaking terribly. "Princess . . ." He said. "I hate to trouble you on this, your most precious of days–"  
"Get to the point, or be gone." Nabiatrix said crossly.  
"Yes . . . well I grow very concerned with the state of our fair city, nay kingdom."  
"This from the man who abandoned us in the face of almost certain doom?"  
Genmalot scowled. "M'lady, your father is blinded to the truth, I thought that you, who has always had a sharper wit, would have noticed, or would at least be willing to hear my words."  
"Then speak them." Nabiatrix said cooly.  
Genmalot took a deep breathe. "I do not trust Sir. Kaneosuke."  
"Did Kunobir send you to influence my decision? Tell Tatewa-Kay that my mind has been made up." Nabiatrix said with a dismissing wave.  
"Madam, when Ranmorgan and Arkane were married it meant that upon your father's retirement the two kingdoms would be merged. After the battle with the dwarves he ordered his Crimson Legion to remain in Rubadub, along with other elements of his forces, our people were too weak not to be grateful."  
"Ranmorgan wanted to ensure that he and my sister would have a kingdom left to inherit." Nabiatrix reasoned.  
"Yes, that seems reasonable. But I have conducted an investigation. The Crimson Legion has begun recruiting young and able bodied men from the populace, and the families of the old legionnaires have been migrating along with other Dirt refugees, unnoticed until now. These men are here to stay, and they are establishing themselves in various strategically important positions."  
"So Ranmorgan seeks to ensure that my father hands the kingdom over to him, by force if necessary." Nabiatrix feigned realization.  
"This is what I fear." Genmalot said. "Worse, while our men were nearly slaughtered on the walls defending this castle and this city, the Legion arrived late and merely finished off the enemy, and they are seen as invulnerable heroes, the young men would rather flock to their banner than to ours m'lady, still your father refuses to conscript soldiers from the populace, if Kaneosuke were to mount an insurrection . . ."  
"Why do you tell me this?" Nabiatrix asked. "You expect me to wed Kaneosuke and turn him against Ranmorgan?" She turned to give Genmalot a look that suggested how ludicrous the idea seemed to her.  
"No . . . I ask that you speak with your father, find some way to convince him to send Kaneosuke and his legions away, leave the defense of the kingdom's borders to Lady Ukygo and myself." Genmalot said.  
"Did it ever occur to you that Ranmorgan's men are growing more comfortable here because in another ten years or so the two kingdoms will be one? Perhaps it is well that our people grow accustomed to the sight of these crimson soldiers." Nabiatrix said.  
"The thought had occurred to me my lady, but I do not believe we should take such a risk, we must at least gauge Ranmorgan's reaction should he be asked to remove the troops."  
"I see . . ." Nabiatrix said, imagining various painful deaths for Genmalot. "I will speak to my father, I assure you. I will die before I see Ranmorgan steal this kingdom from under my father's nose." She said firmly, Kasumian gave her a concerned look, so she continued, "To inherit the kingdom is one thing, to subtly threaten us into handing it over is an entirely different matter, it cannot be allowed."  
Genmalot looked content, and took his leave, Nabiatrix decided to further comfort Kasumian, "The man speaks madness, he seeks a way to prove himself after the betrayal, I do not doubt that he would say anything to create a rift between father and Ranmorgan."  
"His concerns should still be brought before father." Kasumian said.  
"And when the time is right, I will tell him." Nabiatrix assured her sister. "I'll not get him worked up over nothing, sister dear."  
"I suppose you are correct." Kasumian said softly.  
"As I always am." Nabiatrix said, looking back into the mirror. 'I am always correct.'  
"Tonight Nabiatrix, you'll be taking that step into true adulthood." Kasumian said with a sigh.  
"I took that step when I was fifteen." Nabiatrix pointed out.  
"Uh . . . I didn't mean that." Kasumian said, shifting uncomfortably at the unnecessary information.  
"Mean what?" Nabiatrix asked innocently.  
"Uh . . . look, what I mean to say is tonight your life will change, hopefully for the better." Kasumian said.  
Nabiatrix laughed. "Sister, tonight everything changes. And it will be for the better, I promise."  
Kasumian smiled, not realizing the true meaning of her younger sister's words . . . 


	2. A Hero Returns?

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1 / 2, I do not own RISK or anything whatsoever to do with any book, movie, etc. about King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.  
  
A Dragon Named Ranma II  
Chapter I  
A Hero Returns!  
  
Once upon a time there was a boy. That boy's name was Jimmy, and he's got nothing to do with this story.  
But once upon a time there was another boy, a boy named Ryoga, he was a martial artist from Nerima. One day while trying to find his way home a whirlwind of magical proportions swept him away to the distant past, to the kingdom of Rubadub, home of King Sounthur and his three princesses, Kasumian, Nabiatrix, and Arkane.  
Ryoga would be knighted and given the title Sir Ryoga, the Wolf's Fang so that he could save their kingdom from the dreaded dragon, Ranma. Accompanied by princesses Arkane and Nabiatrix Ryoga would have several grand, but ultimately traumatizing adventures, his quest would take him from Rubadub to Letom, the castle of beautiful men where he would rally lady Ukygowain to his cause.  
Together with the powerful fighter Ukygo and the magical spell book that no one ever did bother to use, Ryoga and the princesses would vanquish the Rainbow Knights of Dirt, the trusted generals of prince Ranmorgan. With the Rainbow Knights defeated, Ryoga moved on to challenge the dragon Ranma, and with the help of the insane wizard Happerlin he was successful (yay) now he could return to his own time and never have to worry about the past again . . .  
At least that's how it should have happened . . . unfortunately he'd said the wrong magic words when he went to retrieve the spell book, and so an army of evil green dwarves was unleashed upon Rubadub, and Ryoga, now with the assistance of Ranmorgan, journeyed back to the kingdom, taking a short cut through the Bog of Illusions, to do battle with the dwarves, in the end it was Ryoga's shi shi hokodan that would decimate the unstoppable green menace and save the kingdom. Finally he could return home . . . but this was just the first of many, quests, and each would prove more traumatizing than the last . . .  
  
Ryoga was sitting on the roof of the Tendo Dojo with Ranma arguing about something. He'd forgotten what it was, at this point they were just denying each other for the sake of it.  
"I did not." Ranma scoffed.  
"Yes you did." Ryoga growled.  
"I did not." Ranma insisted.  
"Yes you did." Ryoga insisted right back.  
"I did not!" Ranma shouted.  
"Yes you did!" Ryoga shouted. The two glared at each other . . .  
"Hmm . . . maybe I did." Ranma said thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think I did."  
"No you didn't." Ryoga scoffed.  
"Yeah I did!" Ranma cried.  
"No you didn't." Ryoga insisted.  
Suddenly a magical whirlwind appeared out of nowhere and swept Ryoga away, and ruined the Tendo lawn, Ranma could faintly hear Mr. Tendo weeping.  
"Well . . . that's one way to have the last word." Ranma frowned.  
  
Ryoga opened his eyes, his head hurt. Standing over him was Happosai, and Akane.  
"He's waking up." Happosai said.  
"Oh thank heavens. I thought the fall would have killed him." Akane sighed.  
"Well magic can unpredictable m'lady, how was I to know the whirlwind would crap out on me whilst he was still twenty feet off the ground?"  
Ryoga sat up, he was in a rather uncomfortable bed in a rather cold room. The walls were red stone, the floor was covered by a bear skin rug, there was a stained glass window. "Am I in a church?" Ryoga was so very confused.  
"Oh no, Sir Ryoga. You're in the Castle Sand."  
"I'm in a sand castle." Ryoga frowned. He turned to look at Akane and Happosai. He frowned. Happi had a long white beard and wore purple robes, he wore what looked like a dunce cap, it was purple like the robe, both were decorated with designs of moons, stars, and ladies undergarments. Akane's hair was long, like when he'd first met her, she wore an extravagant dress and a ton of gold jewelry, as well as a gold tiara with a large red ruby on top.  
The gears in Ryoga's head struggled for a moment, then he could only think of one thing to say. "Aw crap."  
  
Ranma was lying back in front of the TV enjoying a juice box when he heard a knock at the door. "Akane! Get that!"  
But he remembered Akane was out with her annoying friends. He sighed and got up, stomped over to the door and opened it. He saw no one.  
"Stinkin' teenagers!" Ranma shouted, shaking his fist.  
"Son-in-law, are you not also a teenager?" Cologne asked as she entered the house.  
"Eh? Oh yeah. Hey, I didn't see you down there old ghoul."  
"Indeed. I am here on business son-in-law, I sensed a powerful magic sweep through here moments ago. Has anything unusual happened?"  
Ranma thought for a moment. And thought. And thought. "Nabiki gave me a discount on breathin' air today." He admitted.  
Cologne shook her head. "No, the magic I sensed was more powerful than that."  
Ranma frowned, and continued to think. He finished off the juice box and threw it away, it went flying just like . . .  
"Oh yeah! Ryoga got swept away in a tornado, then disappeared on the horizon."  
"Oh no! This is terrible news!" Cologne gasped.  
"No kidding, the jerk owes me a thousand yen." Ranma scoffed.  
"If the magic was sent for him, we must learn why." Cologne said. "Son-in-law, your friend might be in very grave danger, and it may be up to you to save him."  
Ranma gasped . . . he looked at Cologne in shock, and said "Where's my juice?"  
  
Ryoga's legs felt a little wobbly, he tried to stand up straight as the tailors and smithies went about fitting him for armor, which Happerlin planned to heavily enchant.  
'Ye gods why!' Ryoga thought.  
Akane, or rather Arkane was eagerly telling him everything that had happened in his absence. Since her father knew that promoting Tatewa-Kay Kunobir to the rank of first knight would be almost as stupid as restoring Genmalot the deserter to said position, he had instead placed the rank upon Ukygo.  
"What about Nabiatrix?" Ryoga asked.  
"Uh . . . Kasumian has married to royal chiropractor, last she wrote they were doing well in a small house on the countryside."  
"And Nabiatrix?"  
"Father is searching for a new bride," Arkane offered, "Lady Nodokavere and Lord Genmalot were allowed to marry, he says that is punishment enough for their crime of adultery and desertion, but I think he simply did not have the heart to execute them."  
"Nabiatrix?" Ryoga pressed.  
Arkane lowered her gaze. Happerlin patted Ryoga's shoulder. "You'll come to understand everything . . . in time . . ." He said.  
Ryoga shrugged. Suddenly the doors swung open and a familiar stranger came in, he looked identical to Ranma, except that his hair was slightly longer and he looked as if he hadn't shaved in about a week, he came over to Ryoga and grabbed him in a bear hug, "Haha! If it isnt the Dragon Slayer himself!" Ranmorgan laughed excitedly, "How long have ye been here without my knowin'? Arkane ye should have told me the moment he arrived!"  
"He only just arrived." Arkane said with a smile. "I'm glad to see you back safely my love."  
Ranmorgan shook his head as he released Ryoga from the uncomfortable hug. "I'm sorry to tell you I didn't want to leave, the borders are getting worse, there have been skirmishes already, war could break out any moment, and if that happens my people need me there." Ranmorgan said seriously. Then he turned to Ryoga, who was once again under the attack and possible sexual abuse of the tailors and smithies. "But when I recieved word from Sand that Happerlin had something he wanted me to see, well I had no idea it'd be yourself of all people, Ryoga!" Ranmorgan laughed.  
"I had no idea it'd be myself either." Ryoga said helplessly.  
Ranmorgan laughed some more. "Couldn't turn your back on those in need, eh? I understand. So tell me comrade, how many armies did'ja bring?"  
"Uh . . ." Ryoga wasn't sure how to reply to this.  
"Darling, Sir Ryoga has brought no armies." Arkane said.  
"What? No armies?" Ranmorgan seemed deflated.  
"But he has come to assisst us in our time of need, and that is something." Arkane said.  
"You're right." Ranmorgan nodded. "Well, I do need generals. Generals I can trust, if the situation deteriorates into war I cannot be everywhere at once."  
"You want me to command an army?" Ryoga gasped.  
"Someone has to." Ranmorgan shrugged. "The lands of dirt must be protected. The dirt towns, the dirt farms, the dirt shops must remain safe."  
Ryoga shook his head. "Ever think of renaming your country?"  
"No, why?"  
"No reason." Ryoga shrugged.  
"So, I trust you are informed of the situation?" Ranmorgan asked.  
"Not quite." Ryoga admitted.  
"He knows nothing." Happerlin said.  
Ranmorgan shook his head gravely. "Then I shall have to inform you. Come with me."  
Ryoga followed Ranmorgan through the red halls of the sand castle. "This is Castle Sand, it's built from sandstone," Ranmorgan explained, "If it comes to war this is where the defense will be organized, and as such if it does come to war this site will likely be the enemy's primary target."  
"War with who?" Ryoga asked.  
"Rubadub." Ranmorgan said grimly.   
"I thought you and Sounthur were allies." Ryoga frowned.  
"We are." Ranmorgan said, still grim. He opened a pair of large doors and led Ryoga in. "Welcome to the War Room, General. I'll explain everything inside."  
  
Cologne, Ranma and Akane sat gathered around a crystal ball, Ranma wasn't exactly sure why he'd agreed to do this.  
"What's goin' on?" Nabiki asked.  
"We're trying to find Ryoga." Akane explained.  
Nabiki raised a questioning eyebrow at them. "Talk about a waste of time." She scoffed.  
"He may be in very grave danger." Cologne explained.  
"Neat!" Nabiki said. "Can I watch? Oh wait . . . I have a life." She shook her head and went up to her room.  
Ranma shook his head too. "She's right, this is dumb, lets go."  
"Wait son-in-law!" Cologne said, "We're getting a signal!"  
"Do I need to fix the antenna on the roof again?" Akane asked.  
"No, this is fine." Cologne said.  
Ranma looked into the crystal ball and saw Ryoga standing in a large darkened room as a pair of tall men pointed to various locations on a map and moved little wooden soldiers around.  
"He's playing RISK?" Ranma scoffed. "This is his grave danger?"  
"It is worse than that son-in-law, he has been thrown a thousand years back into an alternate dimension."  
"I'm sure one or the other would have been plenty." Akane said in a nonbelieving tone.  
"Indeed." Cologne nodded.  
"Oh goody." Ranma shrugged. "I want more juice."  
"Enough with the juice!" Cologne cried. "You have to go after him!"  
"I was afraid you'd say something like that." Ranma admitted.  
  
To Be Continued . . . 


	3. I Forgot the Name of This Chapter!

A Dragon Called Ranma II Chapter II A Tale of Confusion?  
  
"This is incredible!" Akane said, "He's really gone back in time?"  
"Well it's either that, or he's gotten lost at a renaissance fair." Cologne shrugged.  
"Hey!" Ranma protested, "Seeing as how that's a hundred times more likely, cant we explore that possibility before we throw me back in time too?"  
Cologne scratched her chin. "No."  
Ranma shook his head, "I don't think this is such a great idea, I mean how am I gonna get back?"  
"Ah, an informed question."Cologne nodded. "Are you ready to go?"  
"Wait, you didn't answer my informed question!" Ranma protested.  
"Here, take a juice box with you." Akane said, handing him a box.  
"Uh . . . thanks." Ranma said nervously. "But seriously, how do I get back? Do I signal you when I've found Ryoga? Say some magic word? Will you be watching on the crystal ball? Couldn't we tie a rope around my waist or something?"  
"Son-in-law, the portal would disintigrate the rope."  
"How do we know it wont disintigrate me?" Ranma demanded.  
"Hmm . . . I never thought of that." Cologne admitted. "Maybe I should test this on Mousse . . . no, no time. Good luck son-in-law, I hope for your safe arrival and your speedy return."  
"But how do I retur–" Ranma wailed as he got sucked into the crystal ball.  
  
The war room was a poorly lit chamber where two of Ranmorgan's generals tried to explain to Ryoga where they had troops, where they didn't, how strong those troops were in theory and where the enemy would likely strike from.  
"I just don't understand," Ryoga said, "if you and Sounthur are allies why are you planning for war? Is the merger going that badly?"  
"Sounthur and I are still allies," Ranmorgan said, "and I wouldn't be this nervous if it was him planning to attack me. The man is like a father to me, but let's face it, he couldn't fight his way out of a sack. Problem is he ain't in control of his kingdom no more."  
"What?" Ryoga scratched his head.  
"He got ousted." Ranmorgan shrugged. "We're not exactly sure how, details are sketchy, all we know is what our spies have reported back. You see when you disappeared Nabiatrix tried to put off her impending marriage. Arkane thought it was just that she was hoping you'd return."  
"I don't think we were that close." Ryoga shook his head.  
"Yeah, well Sonthur made the mistake of politely but firmly asking her to choose a husband, any man she wanted. She asked him to allow her to interview the sons of the richest and most influential regents in the land. It was the sort of thing everyone expected her to say, so he agreed. My Red Knight, Sir Kaneosuke also took a shot at it."  
"I see . . ." Ryoga nodded, though he really didn't understand. "After nearly a year of interviews and no firm decisions one way or the other on any of the suitors Sounthur demanded that Nabiatrix choose a husband and arranged a night for her to announce it to the kingdom. And there, before her father, the holy knights of the kingdom, and the ten most eligible bachelors, each of them the son of a powerful, influential land owner, she declared that Rubadub was to enter a "new era of prosperity". She declared the kingdom her own, and to emphasize the point Kaneosuke's army barged into the room and took everyone hostage."  
"Uh-huh . . . didnt you say details were sketchy?" Ryoga cocked an eyebrow at the prince.  
"Shut up, I'm not done."  
"Aww man . . ."  
"Y'see she'd cleverly set herself up with the sons of the most powerful regents and merchants, so as long as she holds those boys hostage she controls their fathers and their assets. So aside from the initial coup, there apparently hasn't been any bloodshed in the kingdom."  
"What happened to Sounthur?" Ryoga asked.  
"He and his knights are being kept under lock and guard in the Tower of Bubblybub, which we've been told has been renamed to Nabitopia."  
"It's a slight improvement." Ryoga pointed out.  
Ranmorgan shrugged. "As far as we know Sounthur and the regent's boys are all being well taken care of. However one kingdom isnt enough for her, she's been placing the Crimson Legion on the borders ready to move in on our lands. We've been sending our ambassadors, but it's the strangest thing, you see the last five have had unfortunate fatal accidents. One was killed by bandits on his way to the capital, one choked to death on his dinner, and the other three tripped and fell on their swords."  
"Why did you keep sending them?" Ryoga gave Ranmorgan a look to question his sanity.  
"We were hoping that eventually one of them would manage to get an audience with her." Ranmorgan said. "I tried to go personally, but she sent one of her assistants to turn me back at the border, told me that 'in light of the recent accidents' my presence might not be such a grand idea. It was a threat."  
"Sounds like a warning." Ryoga said.  
"You say tomato, I say tomato."  
"Tomahto. You say tomahto." Ryoga corrected.  
"Why would I say tomahto? That's not even a word." Ranmorgan snorted.  
Ryoga shrugged. "So you think she's going to attack?"  
"Think? Sir Ryoga, the only thing she hasn't done is set a date." Ranmorgan shook his head. "At least as far as our spies can tell. She's moving entire brigades into various strategically important locations, drilling conscripts into real soldiers, and there have been a few incidents where our border towns have been pillaged."  
"Right . . . a brigade . . . is that a lot of men?" Ryoga licked his drying lips.  
"Five battalions. A battalion is one hundred men. In light of that . . . any ideas?"  
Ryoga shrugged. It was obvious. "She's relying on those hostages, if we could just free the king and the regents' sons, Nabiatrix would lose the support of their fathers wouldn't she?"  
Ranmorgan grinned. "That's exactly what we've been planning. And now that you're here we can go through with it."  
"Uh . . ." Ryoga shuddered. "Why me?"  
"I cant go, it'd be a declaration of war! I need to stay here. On the other hand you're not officially a part of the Dirt military . . . yet. So I issue you some elites, you go in disguised as raiders or mercenaries or something."  
"Again . . . why me?"  
"You're the dragon slayer, if word gets out that you're opposing the Empress it might rise the people up in rebellion."  
"So you want me to make a show of this?" Ryoga asked. "Are you insane?"  
Suddenly the room lit up, the generals dove under the table hissing at the light, Ranmorgan shielded his eyes, Ryoga jumped back and assumed a battle position. What was this? Some freaky dark ages Light Elemental or something?  
Worse.  
Ranma was thrown from the portal and he barreled right into Ranmorgan, the two rolled and then Ranmorgan came up, saber drawn, Ryoga rushed over and grabbed the young prince's sword hand.  
Ranma stood up and dusted himself off. He pointed to Ryoga and shouted, "Ryoga! I've come t'yer rescue! Not sure how I'm supposed to get ya back but I've come so ya owe me, man!"  
"On second thought . . ." Ryoga grumbled, letting Ranmorgan's sword hand free.  
However the prince didn't cut his lookalike in half as he had originally planned. Instead he took a good long look at him. "What sorcery is this?" He asked.  
"Who the heck are you?" Ranma grunted.  
"I am Prince Ranmorgan of Dirt! Declare yourself, impostor!"  
"I'm Ranma Saotome, of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts."  
Ranmorgan shook his head. "The resemblance is amazing." He turned to Ryoga, "Do you know this man?"  
"Of course he does! I came here to rescue him!" Ranma cried. "C'mon Ryoga, smash that wall and lets get outta here!" Ranmorgan's knights came up from behind Ranma and grabbed him, holding him firmly between them Ranmorgan approached him, saber still in hand.  
"Is he . . . a friend of yours?" Ranmorgan asked.  
"Define 'friend'." Ryoga scratched his chin.  
"Ryoga!" Ranma protested.  
"Oh all right, yes he is." Ryoga admitted.  
"You knew a man of such likeness unto myself existed, yet you never told me?" Ranmorgan looked surprised.  
"Well when I tried to tell him about you they sent me to The Crazy Home for Boys for three months."  
"How'd you get outta there anyway?" Ranma asked.  
"Got lost on a field trip." Ryoga shrugged.  
Ranmorgan shook his head in amazement. "He even has my voice. And he appeared as if by magic . . . he must have been sent to help us."  
"Uh . . . yeah, I'm guessing it's something like that." Ryoga said.  
"Release him." Ranmorgan commanded. "Have him fitted for armor and give him a sword."  
"Armor? A sword?" Ranma looked at Ryoga. "Ryoga? What just happened?"  
"We've been drafted." Ryoga explained.  
Ranma shook his head and took out a box of juice, he examined it then gave it to Ryoga. "Here buddy . . . I'm gonna need something stronger."  
  
Nabiatrix tapped her fingers on the marble armrests of her father's throne. It was uncomfortable and cold, she didn't like it. But it was hers now. The entire kingdom was hers.  
The cost? A mere one hundred and eight lives. One hundred and eight citizens of her kingdom killed either in the initial coup, or the one pathetic half-hearted riot that followed. One hundred and eight of her people dead were because of this.  
More would follow.  
"We have a brigade hidden in Scrubbitybub as you requested, and we've moved a battalion into the Bubbly Forest, my spies inform me that Ranmorgan and his generals expect us to launch an attack from Bubbly on the granaries in Mud." Kaneosuke said.  
"Then let us not prove him wrong." Nabiatrix said in a commanding tone. "Move two battalions into the forest."  
"My legions are stretched thin as it is . . . and your new army is nowhere near ready for battle."  
"Send them from the brigade guarding the capital city."  
"Madam, if we did that we'd be left almost defenseless!"  
"What have we got to fear, Kaneosuke?" Nabiatrix sighed. "Give Kay-Dachi command and she'll give us the results we desire."  
"Are you sure you can trust her with such a task? Blood is thicker than wine, and you are holding her brother hostage." Kaneosuke said.  
"You needn't remind me, Kaneosuke, he complains more than any of the others." Nabiatrix sighed wearily. "But she hates her brother almost as much as I do, and she's smart enough to know better than to betray me."  
"You're certain? She's reputed to be quite mad."  
"I know Kay-Dachi." Nabiatrix said firmly. "If it concerns you, send an able commander along as well, if she so much as thinks of defecting I want her heart brought to me on a silver platter."  
"And if her madness should put my men's lives in danger?"  
"Her madness will save more of your men than it will doom." Nabiatrix assured him.  
"Very good my queen." Kaneosuke bowed.  
"I prefer the title 'empress'." Nabiatrix reminded him, and he nodded. She stood up, "Have there been any . . . unusual reports?"  
"Unusual, empress?"  
"You know the kind I mean." Nabiatrix said.  
Kaneosuke shrugged. "My spy network in Dirt is not great, Ranmorgan knows almost everyone I've ever worked with, and it is only by secret message that I can receive any word from the kingdom at all."  
"And within our own borders?" Nabiatrix pressed.  
"Nothing." Kaneosuke said, Nabitrix' shoulders slumped and he quickly added, "News does travel slowly."  
Nabiatrix shook her head and sank into her father's uncomfortable throne. "That will do. Leave me." She commanded.  
"Empress . . . I was wondering–"  
"Leave me, Kaneosuke!" She commanded.  
He bowed and left. She was alone now, since the insurrection she found herself alone more often than not and when she was alone she questioned the wisdom of her actions. She glared up at the ceiling thought that she might not be alone now if someone had kept his word. "You swore to me that you'd return should a crisis arise. Can it be that the kingdom does not face a great enough peril? Must I unleash the hell of war? Do not think for a moment that I will not if it helps me acheive my ambition! Where are you Sir Ryoga?"  
Of course there was no answer. She was simply talking to herself, which was, as a matter of fact, quite unhealthy. She closed her eyes and wondered how long she could last before she went as mad as Kay-Dachi.  
  
To Be Continued . . . 


	4. A Hero Can Save Them!

Chapter III

A Hero Can Save Them . . . Maybe  
  
Ranma opened his eyes and let out a big yawn. He looked around his room, sandstone walls, a bear skin rug, a tapestry on the wall depicting a beautiful woman sitting under a tree.  
"Great, somehow I checked into a kinky hotel . . . the critical question becomes: who did I check in with?"  
The door opened and Ryoga walked in, Ranma sighed. "Morning Ranma." Ryoga said.  
"Look, Ryoga man, last night . . . whatever happened, it meant nothing." Ranma said. "Let's just get back to our normal lives and pretend it never happened."  
"We can't do that, it's not that simple." Ryoga frowned.  
"Hey look I understand if it was your first time man, believe me I don't go around–"  
"What the heck are you talking about?" Ryoga demanded.  
Ranma cocked an eyebrow at Ryoga, and scratched his head as the memories returned to him. "Oh . . . nothin'. So . . . what're you doing here? Wasn't your room in a different tower?"  
"I woke up in the middle of the night, went out to the balcony and then when I tried to get back in I ended up here."  
"I see . . ." Ranma shook his head. "So . . . how are we going to get out of here?"  
"Well we can't leave until we complete our quest." Ryoga shrugged. "Last time I had to stop a dragon, this time I guess I'm supposed to save the king and stop these people from going to war. If I could track down the wizard I guess I could just ask him."  
Ranma shook his head, "I don't like this place." He decided. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, "Come in," Ranma sighed.  
A dashing young man entered, he wore a blue tunic and had long black hair and skin tanned bronze, he, like the king of this land seemed to have gone the past few days without a shave. "Good day sir . . ." The young man said, trailing off as his eyes came to Ryoga. "Y-you must be the _dragon slayer_!" He gasped.  
"Well no, I like to think of myself as the dragon 'stopper'since I never actually killed Ranmorgan." Ryoga shrugged.  
"Oh, it's an honor to meet you my lord!" The man said awestruck, "My name is Drinian of The Desert."  
"And what are ya doin' in my room?" Ranma sighed.  
Drinian snapped out of his stupor, "Oh, well prince Ranmorgan ordered me to be your aide-de-camp, that is he ordered me to assist both of you and teach you whatever you don't already know."  
"Good, where's the bathroom?" Ranma asked.  
"Bath . . . room?" Drinian seemed confused already.  
"I really don't like this place." Ranma decided, Ryoga nodded.  
  
Ryoga was very uncomfortable sitting through the planning session, Ranma had to be clued in to what was going on and then Ranmorgan began to outline the plans he'd come up with overnight.  
They all sounded like suicide. One called for Ryoga to provide a one manned distraction to the two brigades guarding the walls–Ranma suggested he try to initiate some sort of conversation about swallows–while Ranma and the crack commando team snuck in through the sewers. Ryoga couldn't hear the next plan because Ranma had been laughing at the word crack, but it somehow involved a goat and some beans.  
The third plan called for a giant catapult that would propel the commandos over the wall and land them right in front of the tower Nabiki was keeping her hostages in, thankfully Ranmorgan decided against it when he remembered that the Crimson Legion–his Catapult specialists–had defected.  
The forth plan seemed the best, the team would split into three groups, one led by Ranma, one led by Ryoga and one led by Drinian, the three groups would enter Rubadub through the city's three gates and each team would make their way to the tower. From there they would attack from different sides and infiltrate, getting the hostages out and back to Dirt–hopefully-before the Crimson Legionnaires could seal off the city gates, to help with that Ranmorgan would have some of his spies working one the city's main entrance gates. Ranma and Ryoga would be given enchanted amulets which would tell them what direction they needed to travel in to get wherever they meant to be going, just in case they were separated from their teams.  
Of course there was the problem that Ranma and Ranmorgan were identical so if Ranma went it would have much the same effect as if Ranmorgan went, but that problem was solved when a serving wench spilled a glass of cold water on a now embarrassed Ranma. After much explanation Ranmorgan decided that Ranma would simply have to go as his female self.  
It sounded easy enough . . . how could Ryoga predict how incredibly wrong it would go?  
As he wandered–literally wandered–the halls of the Sand Castle he was left to wonder . . . why was he here? They'd brought him back for this raid even though he was grossly unqualified?  
As he moved down the halls he felt a weight on his shoulder, he sighed, it felt like he carried the weight of the world . . .  
"Hello m'boy!" Happerlin cried. Ryoga turned his head to see the midget wizard sitting on his shoulder.  
"Putting on a little weight, old man?" Ryoga sighed.  
"I cannot begin to imagine what thou art talking about." The wizard scoffed.  
"Good thing you're here, I've been wanting to talk to you." Ryoga said.  
"Really? How curious, it was I who wished to speak to you." Happerlin shrugged. "I suppose you may speak first."  
"Well . . . what's it going to take to get me back this time?" Ryoga asked. "How can I get home?"  
Happerlin gave him an appraising look. "Thou does not know?" He asked.  
"I've got a guess." Ryoga shrugged, the little wizard grabbed onto his ear and pulled it to keep from falling off. "Once I rescue these regent's sons and overthrow Nabiki's regime I go home, right?"  
"Sounds reasonable." Happosai–er Happerlin agreed.  
"So . . . that's it?" Ryoga asked.  
"Sure. As long as I've got my handy dandy spell book I can send you back at any time."  
Ryoga shuddered and hopped nothing happened to the spell book. "What did you want to talk to me about old man?"  
"Oh I was just wondering if you were planning on going to the feast in your honor." Happerlin shrugged.  
"Feast?"  
"Princess Arkane and Prince Ranmorgan decided to hold a feast to honor the Dragon Slayer. But if you plan to get there before the food is gone, you had better make a beeline."  
Ryoga shrugged and let the little wizard guide him with quite a lot of trial and error to the feast.  
  
Nabiatrix sat in her carriage, surrounded by guard dressed in the black and red of her new Nabitopian military. Kaneosuke was riding alongside the carriage explaining various tidbits and details that the empress simply didn't care about. People lined the streets, bowing as the carriage passed and probably praying to the gods that lightning would strike it. Nabiatrix was loving every second of it, the people were hers now, whether they liked it or not it would work out for the best in the end.  
They weren't far from the tower where her prisoners waited in greater luxury than even _she_ enjoyed. Nabiatrix had been dreading visiting her family, she had not said a word to them since she took control.  
How could she now just walk in there, having taken everything from them? She meant to offer them their freedom in exchange for their support, knowing that they'd die of starvation–quite a trick since they also ate better than her–before they'd submit.  
"We've gotten an unusual report from Castle Sand." Kaneosuke said, Nabiatrix was suddenly giving him her full attention, however just as quickly he crushed her hopes, "Ranmorgan cut his border tour short, he and the council have been gathering. He may try to strike at us."  
"Let him. He knows I would love the chance to paint him as the evil invader. People will rally against an invader far more readily than they will rally to invade." Nabiatrix shrugged.  
Suddenly there was a commotion, Nabiatrix looked to the crowd as a small girl ran past her guards and leapt into the carriage, throwing her arms around a surprised empress.  
"Hold rapscallion!" Kaneosuke cried, sword drawn and pointed in the little girl's direction.  
"Calm yourself, it is only a child!" Nabiatrix said, hiding her amusement.  
"One can never be too careful . . . there are assassins everywhere." Kaneosuke said softly.  
"A little girl is going to assassinate me?"  
"They are creative, these assassins." The Red Knight shrugged helplessly and put his sword back into it's scabbard.  
Nabiatrix realized that her carriage had come to a halt, everyone's eyes were on her, so without allowing her reluctance or disgust to show she returned the girl's hug.  
"I'm so happy you're our new queen!" The girl squeaked. "You'll keep us safe from that evil Dragon Prince, wont you?"  
Nabiatrix smiled. "Certainly." She said. "_My_ people have nothing to fear from Ranmorgan."  
The gathered crowd let out a cheer, Nabiatrix sent the girl back to her parents and looked back at Kaneosuke.  
"How much did you pay her?" Kaneosuke asked.  
Nabiatrix shrugged, not really denying that she'd paid the girl, deciding to let Kaneosuke believe she'd had the foresight to do so. "Effective display, no?"  
"Indeed. And it is the first time I've heard Ranmorgan referred to as 'Dragon Prince'. When did he receive such a title?"  
"Actually I gave it to him." Nabiatrix said with a smile designed to charm a crowd of ignorant but loved peasants. "Or rather I paid some beggars to give it to him. I thought the people could do with a little reminder as to who it was that slaughtered the holy order of knights a year ago."  
Kaneosuke laughed. "Stir them up in remembrance, eh?"  
"Why not? I stirred them up in rebellion easily enough." Nabiatrix shrugged. "When I'm through they'll hate Ranmorgan as much as I do."  
She gestured for the driver to continue, she wanted to get this little meeting over with as soon as possible.  
  
Now that Ranma was gone there was enough juice for everyone . . . at least there would have been, but Nabiki had promptly muscled in on his territory.  
Akane watched him in the crystal ball, and scratched her head. "They don't really look like they're in any danger."  
"It may not look that way child, but they are." Cologne said. "All we can do now is pray for them."  
Akane shook her head and examined the image on the crystal ball . . . of Ranma and Ryoga at what looked like a grand celebration having an arm wrestling contest that had drawn quite a crowd.  
Some good looking woman showed up with a tray of golden goblets and gave one to Ranma, who started flirting with her and lost the arm wrestling match to Ryoga.  
Akane's fist flew towards the image of Ranma, but Cologne's stick whacked it away. "Oh yeah . . . they're in mortal danger all right." Akane growled.  
  
Ranma sighed and rubbed his wrist. "No fair, you cheated." He said.  
"No I didn't." Ryoga scoffed.  
"Yes you did!" Ranma insisted.  
"I did not!" Ryoga snapped.  
"You did too!" Ranma shouted.  
"Hmm . . . maybe I did." Ryoga decided.  
"No you didn't." Ranma scoffed.  
"This seems familiar." Ryoga said.  
"No it doesn't." Ranma scowled, just trying to mess with Ryoga.  
"Do you do this often?" A young woman asked. Ranma turned to see none other than Akane, or as Ryoga had explained, Princess Arkane. "Argue back and forth like that?"  
Looking at the beautiful princess Ranma sort of missed Akane, but he also wondered if Arkane was as violent. If so, how did she and his lookalike have such a tranquil relationship? Maybe he'd pick up a few tips before he left.  
"I remember a year ago Sir Ryoga and I used to argue all the time," Arkane said, "Not nearly as much as he argued with my sister Nabiatrix, but quite frequently. I always supposed he was simply a stubborn person, I didn't realize it was a matter of culture."  
"Oh that's Ryoga all right." Ranma chuckled. "Stubborn as a pig, ain't that right P-Chan?"  
"No I'm not!" Ryoga protested.  
"See what I mean?" Ranma laughed, playfully patting Ryoga on the back, though the other boy just swatted his hand away.  
The spread at the prince's table was awesome, though a lot of the food looked like Akane had cooked it, and many of the main dishes still had their heads, one taste of some spongy jelly thing (Ranma was sure he'd be happier not knowing the name or ingredients) had him convinced that the chefs were masters of their craft. He was pilling up as much of everything as he could on his rather large plate when his lookalike showed up.  
"Hold Sir Ranma, do not eat yet."  
"What, we gotta pray or something?" Ranma asked, Ryoga's answer was a shrug.  
"No," Ranmorgan said, "But I wish to see the skills of your land."  
"Eh?"  
"A contest of swordsmanship between the two of us." Ranmorgan translated.  
"Oh . . . can't we do that after we eat?" Ranma asked.  
"I pray thee indulge me." Ranmorgan said.  
"Besides, if you eat first you might get a cramp." Ryoga pointed out, "or be weighed down by all that food."  
Ranma shrugged in resignation. "I'll be right with you, don't go anywhere." He told the food, and he followed Ranmorgan out to a sort of courtyard.  
Drinian was there, he presented Ranma with a saber similar to the one Ranmorgan had drawn on him at their first meeting. Ranma took it and tried to look like an expert as he examined it. It was wooden, like the one Ranmorgan now held.  
"On your ready, show me the fighting skills of . . . whatever land you and Sir Ryoga are from."  
"Nerima." Ranma said, then took up a fighting stance.  
"The prince fights aggressively, but he lacks stamina, you can ware him down if you remain on the defensive." Drinian whispered.  
"Yer sellin'out yer king?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.  
"He did order me to assist you in all things did he not?" Drinian shrugged.  
"I'm takin'yer word on that one buddy, I don't think he meant for you to sell out his weakness." Ranma shrugged back.  
"Any skilled fighter would have figured it out sooner or later." Drinian said and took a few steps away from Ranma.  
Ranma nodded and turned to face Ranmorgan who was already charging, he feebly brought the wooden saber up to block but Ranmorgan batted it aside and struck Ranma in the shoulder.  
"Do not go easy on me," Ranmorgan said, "I have been well trained."  
"I wasn't ready!" Ranma protested. "Round two!"  
The two fighters circled each other for a moment, then Ranmorgan charged in, he took a swing and Ranma ducked low to avoid it. 'Just like fighting Kuno.' He decided, sweeping the prince's legs out from under him, and bringing his sword down where the prince's neck should have been had he fallen over as Ranma had planned.  
Instead Ranmorgan threw himself backwards and flipped, coming in for a second charge without a moment's pause, Ranma rolled to the left and came up quickly as the prince charged right past him, Ranmorgan turned around and came at him again, the wooden blades collided and cracked as both Ranma and Ranmorgan struck with all their might.  
But it was Ranmorgan's wooden blade that broke first, and unable to stop the momentum of his blade, Ranma's sword struck the prince in the stomach.  
"I win!" Ranma cried. "Now can we eat?"  
"Ahh . . . you go ahead." Ranmorgan grumbled, rubbing his stomach.  
"Hey pal, you challenged me." Ranma reminded him.  
"Yes, yes, I underestimated your strength." Ranmorgan said, looking at the broken toy sword. "But if this had been my real blade it would never have broken."  
"If these had been real blades you might be gathering up your insides right now." Ranma pointed out.  
Ranmorgan forced a smile, Ranma could tell this annoyed him greatly. "We shall call it a draw."  
"No way!" Ranma cried, "I beat yer butt, Ranma Saotome one, Ranmorgan . . . uh . . . Ranmorgan (whatever) zero!"  
The prince straightened up, and scowled indignantly. "It is Ranmorgan Le Fay!"  
"Oh . . . is that a boy's name?" Ranma raised an eyebrow at his lookalike.  
"What!?" Ranmorgan roared.  
"Uh . . . let's get you two back to the dining hall!" Drinian said, jumping in between the two, "Princess Arkane is probably wondering where you are my lord."  
"Of course." Ranmorgan nodded.  
"Food!" Ranma fondly remembered.  
  
Ukygo glared at Nabiatrix, who returned the look with just as much intensity. The First Knight could just see the look of superiority and triumph in the princess's eyes. "If I _ever_ get free of this cell–"  
"You'll be cut to ribbons by the guards." Nabiatrix cut her off. "Unless of course you submit to me, I do need a first knight."  
"What about your traitorous boyfriend?" Ukygo scowled.  
"Who? Sir Kaneosuke? I should say not. I'd like to experiment with an entirely female government, what say you to that?"  
"I say you're lucky these bars are steel, sugar." Ukygo tied to keep her tone casual.  
Nabiatrix smiled. "I knew you'd be the last person to surrender. I admire that, I really do."  
Ukygo scowled. Her cell was lovely, it was nicer than her old quarters, the bed was soft and the blankets were warm. She had no idea prisoners were treated this way, it beat going legit. But that didn't mean she liked it, or thought Nabiatrix any less of a monster, or coward. "You can admire me all you want. First chance I get you'll be admiring the sharper end of a sword."  
Nabiatrix sighed. "Come now, we're old comrades, you and I. We fought the dragon together, did we not?"  
"I didn't like you then either." Ukygowain pointed out.  
Nabiatrix gave her a serious look, "Things will go better for you and everyone else if you would just cooperate, don't you realize that this kingdom is better left to me?"  
"I realize that _you_ think it is." Ukygo scowled at the princess. "But I don't work for traitors. If you'd just come a little closer I'd show you how deadly I can be without a weapon."  
"It would be the _last_ thing you ever do!" Kaneosuke warned.  
Ukygo just rolled her eyes at him. "Get out of here _princess_, leave me." She said, trying to emphasize the word 'princess' just to spite her, having heard from the guards that Nabiatrix preferred to be called queen or empress.  
Nabiatrix smiled warmly. "I admire your conviction. But I wonder if the hangman will feel the same." She said, then she moved on. Ukygo scowled at the hated empress. She stomped back to her extravagant bed and kicked it over. She'd sleep on the floor tonight. But even the floor was sinfully soft.  
  
To Be Continued . . .


	5. A Horse A Sword A Headache!

A Dragon Called Ranma II . . .  
Chapter IV . . .  
A Horse, A Sword, A Headache! 

Ryoga stared up at the large black horse that Ranmorgan had assigned him. It had huge muscles, a large red bloodshot eyes filled with a crazed look, and perhaps most importantly, sharp pointed teeth . . . didn't horses have flat teeth? "Nice horse. He wouldn't happen to be half demon or anything like that would he?" He said.  
"Yes--I mean no!" The stable master said, "Y'see . . . we keep him on a very strict diet of raw meat and eggs"  
"And can I ask why?" Ryoga asked.  
"Sure." The stable master said contently.  
After a few long moments without an answer Ryoga sighed, "Okay, why"  
"Hmm? Oh, just to see what'd happen. Uh . . . don't let your guard down around him, he's eaten the heads off three of my stable hands"  
Ryoga turned to Ranmorgan. "With all due respect great prince . . . are you crazy"  
"This's the best horse in the land, he's big, strong and brave, perfect for the dragon slayer." Ranmorgan shrugged.  
"Look at him! He is a dragon!" Ryoga cried as the horse lunged for a stable boy who scurried away screaming. "You raised him on raw meat? I don't even think horses are able to survive off raw meat, his very life defies science"  
"Sci-what?" Arkane frowned.  
"Nevermind." Ryoga sighed. He just didnt have the energy, it was better to just accept the fact that his fate was in the hands of morons. "Thank you, thank you very much, I'll try to bring him back in one piece"  
"We named him Betty." The stable master added with a content smile on his plump face.  
"But isn't Betty a girl's name?" Ranma asked.  
"Yeah . . . we did it to be mean . . . we poke him with sticks too, so he'll grow up good and vicious." The stable master said.  
Ryoga raised an eyebrow at Ranmorgan, who shrugged helplessly. "Now that I had no idea about." The prince sounded honest enough.  
"Uh . . . no offense Horse Master or whatever," Ryoga said, "But . . . you are a crazy son of a gun, and if I didn't fear the impact this dangerous, probably maniacal, and almost certainly homicidal animal would have on the environment, I'd let him loose in the wilds so as to avoid returning him to your . . . utterly cruel handling"  
"Now, now, Sir Ryoga," Arkane said, "His methods may seem a little . . . uh . "  
"Insane? Cruel? Pointlessly ridiculous?" Ranma offered, Ryoga nodded his agreement.  
"Uh . . . yes. Anyway I assure you that he really is the best man for the job in all the lands." Arkane said.  
Ranmorgan said, "He knows everythin' there is to know about raising and breeding horses, his hobbies may be . . . incredibly unusual, but he has served three generations of Dirt Princes"  
"You need to rename your country, how about Rantopia?" Ryoga offered.  
"I like it." Ranma nodded.  
"I think what my dear husband means," Arkane spoke up, "is that as unusual as this horse may be, he will bring you back here safely. A finer war steed you'll not find in the entire kingdom." "What about mine?" Ranma asked. "Ya didnt give me a crappy one did'ja"  
"Well a young lady should have a proper horse," Arkane was saying, "and since you will be a young lady, I have selected for you the most beautiful white stallion in the kingdom. His name is Percivile"  
The stable master led out a handsome white stallion with red bows in his long silvery hair.  
"Can I get rid of those sissy bows?" Ranma asked.  
"I would not recommend it." Arkane said. "He likes the bows"  
"Yeah right. Let me get those off ya buddy." Ranma said to the horse, "You must by dying to get outta that sissy getup, I know how it feels to have to wear girl's cloths and boy do I--ooghff!" Ranma grunted as the horse nimbly spun around and kicked him clear across the stable and into a water troth as his hands closed around one of the bows.  
"I told you." Arkane sighed. "Are you alive"  
"Lemme at 'im! I'll show that jerk a thing or two!" Ranko cried, jumping out of the water troth, Ryoga and Ranmorgan had to hold her back.  
"Let it go, let it go, it's just an animal." Ryoga said.  
"Yeah . . . yeah all right . . ." Ranko took a deep breath. "But you!" She shouted at the horse, "You kick like a girl"  
The horse snorted at him--er her and nudged Arkane who fixed the bow Ranma had tampered with.

Kaneosuke tried hard not to shout. "It is not practical, not realistic." He said as calmly as he could.  
Nabiatrix shook her head. "I am empress, I will decide what is practical"  
Kaneosuke now worked hard to keep the scowl from moving across his face. "An overthrown king does not simply 'retire' you cannot hold your father in prison indefinitely"  
"That is not my plan." Nabiatrix said calmly.  
"Ah yes, to spare your father and your sister, to allow them to retire to small comfortable countryside estates . . . empress that is too dangerous, he must be done away with"  
Nabiatrix again shook her head. "You would have me stain my hands with the blood of my own family? In all my actions leading to this point that is exactly what I have hoped to avoid, Kaneosuke"  
Kaneosuke couldn't hold back the scowl any longer. She was allowing her emotions to control her actions, to endanger her! "My empress . . . as long as your father lives, there is the chance that he will escape or be rescued, if that happens he might rally the people against you"  
"The people practically rejoiced when I took control." Nabiatrix sighed, "What makes you think they'll follow my fool of a father"  
"I do not want you to be surprised by how unstable the opinions of the masses can be." Kaneosuke said.  
"And when I slaughter my father and his supporters what sort of monster would that make me? I would lose the support of my people, and that is something I can not afford. It matters not what charges I put against them, real or imagined the people will see it as the murder of their former king. They may not be willing to follow a fool, but they could easily be persuaded to rally behind those who would make my father a martyr. The regents for example. I would be forced to use my own troops to put down my own people, I warn you now Kaneosuke, I will not suffer my own people to be slaughtered like sheep"  
"Did you not pay the people to whisper against Ranmorgan? Can you not do the same to your father until the populace begs for his death"  
"Let us say that I could. That does not mean that I would." Nabiatrix said simply.  
Kaneosuke shook his head. "It is dangerous." He said. "Very dangerous"  
"Then I will face that danger, understood?" The empress said with a tone of finality that Kaneosuke was about to ignore, however Nabiatrix immediately changed the subject. "Now tell me, any odd reports"  
Kaneosuke removed the scowl from his face, though her words only made him want to scowl all the harder. She was obsessed with news of unusual reports! He knew, and even understood why she wanted to make contact with the dragon slayer, the Knight of Wolf's Fang was a celebrity and every day he became more legend and less fact, imaginative story tellers spun tales of a single warrior who stood determined against a flight of dragons when in fact Sir Ryoga had been something quite different. All the same to have him back Nabiatrix would only increase her own popularity, and as she had planned the coup she had been assuring Kaneosuke that the turbulence would draw Ryoga to them before the war began. While it might not mean so much for the seasoned Crimson Legions to see the dragon slayer ride out at the front of a Dirt legion might well cripple the morale of the Rubadub armies whom Kaneosuke's legionnaires were even now training.  
But it had not been Ryoga's army--if indeed he even had one--that helped the princess capture the capital city, it had not been Ryoga's army that put down the rebellion, it was not Ryoga's army who was training the new legions of this new nation, it was not Ryoga who had convinced his men to turn their back on their old loyalties in favor of a newer and brighter future, and it was not Ryoga who loved Nabiatrix enough to do all those things without regret.  
Kaneosuke recognized and despised that he had become Nabiatrix's pet dog. He would do anything she commanded, when she praised him he was content and almost drunk with happiness, and when she scolded him he was devastated, he would retreat from her presence, tail tucked firmly between his legs only to sneak back with a disarming smile in hopes of regaining favor.  
Kaneosuke had tried desperately to be everything the princess wanted and needed in an advisor and martial of the armies . . . but the dragon slayer seemed to be all that occupied her thoughts at times, in recent days it seemed he could not have a conversation with her without the thrice cursed Ryoga coming up and worse he had to suffer the poorly disguised looks of disappointment on her face whenever he told her the news.  
And even though he now had an chance to be praised and content, though he could finally tell her what she'd been longing to hear, that his spies had reported back that the Dragon Slayer was in Dirt, but apparently neither openly allied with Ranmorgan nor involved with the Dirt military. . . he felt as if the world had fallen to his shoulders, he did not want to lie to his greatest love but who knew what the truth might mean? "My spies report . . . the dragon slayer is nowhere to be found"  
Nabiatrix's shoulder slumped slightly and Kaneosuke bowed, knowing by routine that he was dismissed. He wondered how long he could bring himself to go on lying to her, and what would the consequences be if his delay allowed Ryoga to align himself with Ranmorgan.

Ryoga watched intently as Ranko and the fifteen elite soldiers of Dirt prepared themselves for the journey. They wore simple gray cloaks, and carried sabers similar to Ranmorgan's.  
Ryoga himself had been given a large, heavy black sword, no sleek slightly curved saber. For him it was easy to lift, but no one else seemed able . . . sort of like his umbrella, only ridiculously big.  
He could still remember his argument with Ranmorgan over the sword's edge, or lack of it.  
"Why doesn't it have a sharper edge?" Ryoga had demanded, "It's like a butter knife"  
"Because it's so heavy and large. The weight of the thing will kill your opponents, a sharper edge makes it harder to handle since it'll cut through the air faster. Does that answer your question"  
"Uh . . . no." Ryoga said. "In fact it raises a few more, first of all . . . could this thing be any more obvious? It's almost as big as me, I'd have more luck getting a tank past airport officials"  
"Nothing you said now made any sense. I know nothing of airports or their officials." Ranmorgan pointed out. Ryoga's eye twitched.  
"How do I get this past the gate guards?" The young man translated.  
"Hide it under your cloak." Ranmorgan suggested.  
Ryoga's eye twitched again. He could not put it under his cloak, the blade alone was as tall as he was not counting the handle, and it was about as wide as he was. "Moving on . . . it is so big even if I knew how to properly use swords--and I do--how could I possibly handle it efficiently"  
"Yeah . . . that's another reason why it doesn't have a sharper edge." Ranmorgan pointed out.  
Ryoga's eye twitched twice now as he absorbed Ranmorgan's meaning. "Well okay, thank you for that. But again . . . why? Why make such a weapon in the first place? And why in the world are you assigning me such a weapon"  
"Well the truth is that the smith made this giant sword . . . but no one could hold it, there are no giants in dirt and there's no one has the strength . . . except you, you were destined for this weapon"  
"Don't try to play on my ego." Ryoga had said crossly. "As if the demon horse wasn't enough, if I show up in Rubadub with this huge slab of metal 'hidden' under my cloak . . . I'm gonna look like a japanimation character"  
"I see . . . even though I still don't understand yer foreign dialect." Ranmorgan scratched his chin. "Suren the wizard can put a spell on it or something"  
"Yeah . . . you tell him to get right on that." Ryoga had said.  
Happerlin had turned it invisible, that had solved the problem of it being seen by the guards, but now no one could find it.  
Ryoga would be going in unarmed . . . he didn't see the problem, his hands could be just as lethal as any blade--especially one without an edge.  
Of course Ranma was the only one who believed this and the Dirt troops were already beginning to see him as a dangerous liability, his reputation as the dragon slayer--which seemed to mean more to Ranmorgan and Arkane than it did to the soldiers--was the only thing that kept them from leaving him behind, not that he'd have minded if they had.  
"All right," Drinian shouted over the buzz of the other soldiers, "The city of Nabitopia awaits! Sir Ryoga, do see to it that that . . . uh . . . creature remains properly bound, we do not want any roadside tragedies"  
Ryoga's horse had to be muzzled after it bit off the ear of one of the other horses and reduced the commando squad by two members after biting off one man's hand and kicking another so hard that Happerlin had been forced to use his crystal ball just to find the man's liver. Both would survive and even be restored to full health after some heavy spell casting by the perverted wizard.  
Ranmorgan shouted to his men, "Go forth my soldiers, and liberate the prisoners of the evil empress! Let none question the bravery of our soldiers, as you give up your very lives to avert war"  
Arkane whispered something into the prince's ear, "Oh right!" He said, "Eh . . . I mean let none question your bravery as yerselves uh . . . triumph over evil without a single loss of yer most precious and irreplaceable lives"  
The soldiers stirred uneasily.  
"We've prepared this mural for you . . . to commemorate your heroic actions!" Arkane said, the look on her face told Ryoga not to expect anything too grand.  
The mural depicted a mountain of dead soldiers wearing what Ryoga hoped was the Rubadub uniform, atop them were the commandos and Ranma and Ryoga . . . and atop the crushed and mutilated commandos, battered dragon slayer and viciously brutalized Ranma was Ryoga's horse, standing triumphantly, bleeding from a dozen minor wounds, holding Ryoga's severed head in his jaws by the bandanna with a neat lightning bolt clashing in the background.  
"Flattering." Ranma said. Ranko's image had been beaten, run through with a couple spears, and the eyes had been stabbed out with daggers.  
"The . . . uh . . . the honor." Drinian smiled weakly, the depiction of his person showed about five swords shoved into his chest, and his lower half ripped away, quite possibly by Betty the horse.  
"I'm glad you like it." Ranmorgan smiled happily, "Arkane thought it might be bad for moral"  
"Not . . . at all." Ryoga sighed. "It only uh . . . motivates us"  
"I knew it would." Ranmorgan grinned widely.  
And so following Drinian's lead the now much less enthusiastic soldiers turned towards the castle gates, and the mission they only now seemed to fully realize could prove all too suicidal.

To Be Continued . . .

I had certain reservations about this chapter, but you've waited too long for me to just scrap it and try over. I'll just have to make the next chapter twice as good. Meh--why do people say "meh"?


	6. The One Where Stuff Happens!

A Dragon Called Ranma II or something like it!  
Chapter V or similar!  
The One Where Everything Goes Right For The Good Guys!

Ryoga stood outside the large gates of the city of Rubitybubity, or bubblydubbly, or whatever idiotic name it was given.  
Honestly, was it so hard to give a city a name like Nerima? Simple, easy to remember, elegant in it's way.  
And Ryoga didn't laugh when he tried to ask where Nerima was, as he had when trying to ask an innkeeper for a map to bubbilybibbly(?) resulting in someone shouting "Nobody talks that way 'bout _my_ mama!" which in turn resulted in a tavern brawl that had cost one soldier the use of his left arm, and Ranma's dignity when hot water got involved, rendering a supposed King Ranmorgan of Dirt in a dress beating the snot out of five villagers.  
King Ranmorgan might be a little annoyed if word of Ranma and Ryoga's exploits ever got to Dirt. But that was unlikely, because luckily, or perhaps if you looked at the big picture, unluckily, Betty the horse, sensing bloodshed, came to the rescue just in time, somehow getting loose from his steel chains, and breaking down a wall, charging into the tavern and slaughtering the drunken inhabitants in one incredibly violent scene not to be described in this story.  
Betty had gone on to set free his fellow horses from the stable . . . only to begin hunting them down for food. Then he went on to the cows. Apparently the sheep smelled too bad to eat, but that didn't mean they were safe. By this point the Dirt troops had begun trying to help people escape the town, claiming not to know where the demon horse came from. It was not theirs, had nothing to do with them! Why no, one of them had not ridden in on it, that was madness, why they'd never seen it before in their lives! Nope. Innocent looks and disarming smiles all around.  
The surviving villagers had run for the mountains, though the screaming and neighing heard shortly after the soldiers and the villagers parted ways suggested that most of them at least, hadn't gotten far.  
The next morning Betty was found tied to a tree right outside of the camp as if nothing had happened the night before. One of the men from Drinian's squad was missing though, and if Ryoga didn't know any better he'd swear his horse was trying to look innocent.  
Now, as he and the five soldiers in his commandall of whom kept a fair distance back, though Ryoga doubted if even a mile would matter if Betty went berserk againstood outside the walls of . . . uh . . . 'that city' they were trying to get to.  
Ryoga looked at his magical amulet. The arrow was pointing away from him . . . so that meant he should go straight? Or did it mean he should go back?  
What if he had it upside down?  
Yes, in the end it turned out that even magic was no cure for a bad sense of direction.  
"Ye cant be serious!" The gate guard said, shaking Ryoga away from worries about his amulet, "The six of ye come to Rubaer Nabitopia ter sign on as mercenaries for the empress, and ye ain't even got a letter of approval? No mercenary swine gets into the capital without a letter of approval from Marshal Kaneosuke!"  
"We had that letter," Ryoga said, "My horse ate it." He gave Betty a pat on the neck, which caused the horse to growl.  
Wait a minute! Could horses growl? He could have sworn this horse just growled!  
Anyway the gate guard gave him a suspicious "I don't believe your lies" kind of look, and seemed about to say something when Betty lunged forward and tore the helmet off of the man's head, and chomped down, crushing it like a soda can.  
The guard jumped back twenty feet or so, knocking over his superior, and began screaming.  
"Get off me!" His superior snapped. "Curse it all, get off! Now go change your armor before you rust!"  
The gate guard scampered away quickly, Ryoga had to pull hard on the reins to keep his evil horse from pursuing.  
Gosh this horse was evil.  
"You lot," the superior guard snapped, "go on through, but I warn ye, any injuries caused by that demon and we'll be carving it up fer stew!"  
"If you can take Betty down mister, than you're a better man than I." Ryoga sighed.  
"Ah, yer wife says so too." The guard scowled, and even though he wasn't married, Ryoga didn't bother to keep Betty from kicking the man in the armored chest. He'd survive after all.  
Trotting through the streets was pleasant actually, the sights the smells, the sounds . . .  
At least . . . that's how Ryoga _thought_ it would be. As it happens in a city where horses are the number one means of transportation, and where only the rich consider daily showers to be necessary, the sights, sounds and especially smells are not great.  
Ryoga remembered it being somewhat more . . . pleasant. But then he'd only seen the palace before.  
"Where do we go?" One of the soldiers asked Ryoga, and the so-called Dragon Slayer just shrugged.  
"Straight ahead!" He said, his amulet (shape of an arrow) was pointing straight ahead so that must be where he was meant to go. "Wasn't one of you supposed to have come here before?" Ryoga asked.  
"Eh . . ." One of the Dirt Soldiers said nervously. "Well uh . . ."  
"I was supposed to have someone in my command who'd been to this city before." Ryoga said stopping his horse and looking back at his soldiers, growing very concerned now. Not upset, he was used to being lost, but concerned because if he got there last Ranma would tease him for the rest of his life, which may or may not be a long time, depending on the success of this mission.  
"The truth sir, is that we've _all_ been here before." One soldier said.  
"Oh good." Ryoga sighed, relieved.  
"But not a single one of us knows the way to the prison tower."  
"What?" Ryoga almost screamed.  
"You see the female population of this city is close to six to one, and that's just the unmarried female population, I'm not even talking about the unsatisfied wives of the noblemen. So you see sir, just about every man from Scrubbitydub, to Muckitymuck has come here in search of . . . shall we say thirty minutes of love?"  
"Oh no!" Ryoga sighed. Despair! Defeat! Death! Doom! Some other terrible thing that starts with 'D'!  
How was he supposed to navigate to the tower in time trusting in a medallion that he didn't really trust and with a bunch of guides who's actual knowledge of the city's lay out didn't exceed the finest brothels and the homes of the most desperately unfaithful of noblewomen?  
Hmm . . . maybe they could have one of the noble wives lead them, perhaps she could even get them into the tower?  
No, no that would slow them down, they had to go now. He'd just have to trust the amulet.  
Now if the arrow was pointing in a direction, he had to follow it, right? Of course, that made sense. So he followed the little arrow shaped amulet.

The crystal ball had various speeds, as it turned out. Cologne tended to keep it running at a speed that was roughly four times as fast as the world outside the crystal. In the half day since they'd started this Shampoo had smashed down the door to bring lunch, and demanded to know where Ranma wasAkane told her Ranma and Ryoga had gone on a training trip into the mountains, so Shampoo ran off to buy hiking equipmentKasumi had served a delicious dinner that only she, Akane and Cologne ate since Nabiki had gone off on a date with that freaky kid who talked to a puppet, and dad had gone off with uncle Saotome to get drunk.  
But Ranma and Ryoga had learned sword fighting, been given horses, attended feasts in their honor, and so on. Akane was getting bored with it all, occasionally Cologne would mutter something about 'grave danger' but it was half heated, as if not even she still believed it.  
For a long and boring trip from one castle to another, Cologne had tapped the crystal ball with her stick a few times and increased the speed to such that almost a week had passed for Ranma and Ryoga, but only a few minutes for Akane and Cologne. Akane suggested Cologne leave it this way until the event was over, so everything could be back to normal.  
But suddenly Cologne stopped the whole thing and scratched her nose. "It would seem future-son-in-law and Ryoga have split up. Which of them would you like the crystal's magic to follow?"  
Akane scoffed. She couldn't say Ranma, couldn't act as if she were concerned for him.  
But she was.  
Not that she wasn't concerned for Ryoga as well. Ranma simply seemed more important. "I don't care." She said simply.  
"Are you sure?" Cologne asked.  
"Well it's not like there's any danger Ranma can't handle, and Ryoga's greatest cause for fear is getting lost." Akane shrugged.  
"Indeed. He's going in the opposite direction of where he should be going right now. I wonder if this confusion on his part will result in danger for future-son-in-law." Cologne said.  
"What?" Akane licked her lips in frustration, "Okay, follow Ranma and we'll see."  
"Very well." Cologne smirked.  
Akane just rolled her eyes at the little old mummy.

Ranma, or rather Ranko since he was, for the moment, a she, was riding down the streets of Nabitopia, same as Ryoga. However unlike Ryoga, Ranko was head in the right direction.  
The tower loomed ahead, large, imposing and impossible to miss for anyone other than Ryoga, and apparently his troops as well.  
Ranma was the very image of a beautiful and unusually clean young woman atop a beautiful and unusually decorated white stallion, wrapped in a gray traveler's cloak, wearing a beautiful red dress to match the ribbons in Perci-whatever's mane.  
Ranma began to wonder if perhaps the stares she was drawing from every guard and his brother would become a problem. With loose women roaming the streets in packs it seemed ridiculous that anyone should pay Ranma any special attention.  
The troop moved closer and closer to the tower, before they ever got there however their horses would be taken away and held by the southern gate by dirt spies.  
The objective was to rescue the royal family and the sons of those regent type people, then reach the southern gate where their horses and a wagon would be waiting for them.  
Sounded so easy, and until now Ranma had no reason to believe it wouldn't be. Where, she had wondered, was the danger?  
But now if her incredibly well built body was going to attract so much attention odds were they wouldn't make it half way to the south gate before some lustful Larry noticed the former king traveling with the cute sex kitten on the girly horse.  
Meanwhile, at the east gate . . .

"Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity a swallow needs to beat it's wings five billion times per second, right?" The gate guard said, leaning on his halberd, with his back to a closed gate.  
"That doesn't sound very realistic . . ." Drinian of the desert sighed, fighting the urge to reach for a weapon.  
"Answer the question!" The guard cried.  
"No." Drinian said calmly. He just wanted the guard to open the gate. Was it so much to ask?  
"A five ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut!" The guard ranted.  
"I did not say anything about coconuts!" Drinian cried. "We're in a hurry if you please!"  
"I mean it could be carried by a Dirt swallow . . ." The guard went on.  
"Do you have a supervisor we could talk to?" Drinian sighed.  
"No! Now the very idea that a Nabitopian swallow could carry a coconut is madness!"  
"Madness would be to continue to deny me and my men passage through this gate when there is one of you and five of us!" Drinian warned.  
"I mean the very idea that swallows could be used to carry coconuts is preposterous!" The guard continued on as if he hadn't heard Drinian, he seemed very amused by his own antics.  
"Would you please just be quiet?" Drinian asked.  
"I mean at least they gave you real horses, not some bloody coconuts!" The guard said, apparently this was his way of saying 'no'.  
"Let's just cut down some trees and fashion a battering ram!" One of Drinian's soldiers said.  
"Perhaps we should simply try another gate?" Drinian suggested to his men, feeling that the mission could become compromised should they continue to waste time with this fool.  
"No, no," His second in command, Trinatsu said, if Ranma or Ryoga were here they would have noticed that Trinatsu bore a strong resemblance to Konatsu, Ukyo's waiter, Drinian however had no way of knowing this. "It's a matter of honor now, the principal of the thing, he's not letting us through, so we have to make him sorry. Let's burn the gate down!" Trinatsu said.  
"Or we could try a different gate." Drinian offered again.  
"Let's kill the guard, break down the gate, then go on a rampage through the city!" Trinatsu offered. "There's a ton of beautiful women in here!"  
"We're not brigands!" Drinian cried.  
"We can pretend to be, who will know?" One of the soldiers shrugged.  
"Yes! Excellent plan! Or . . . we could try a different gate." Drinian said. "The nearest is five minutes away if we ride fast."  
"Our time frame is too strict, any further delay and we might as well kill Sir Ryoga, and Madame Ranko ourselves." One of the commandos said.  
"Yes! exactly! That's why I say we wait until night fall, then charge the gate with this large wooden ferret we shall construct out of river reeds" Trinatsu said.  
"Again with the ferrets, Trinatsu! If our time limit is so tight why should we wait until night fall? Why are my orders dismissed as nonsense when what you suggest is _utter_ nonsense? Am I not the leader of this strike team?" The team looked at each other as if to try and find one amongst them who's rank was higher than Drinian, causing him to wonder if he really should be in command. "I am!" He said, to stop the searching.  
"Did you just say 'Sir Ryoga'?" The gate guard asked.  
"Eh? No, he said 'Sorry Yoga'." Drinian said.  
"Sounded like 'Sir Ryoga'." The guard said.  
"Great! Now he knows too much, we have to kill him!" Trinatsu sighed.  
"Quiet!" Drinian cried to Trinatsu, then to the guard he said, "What does it matter if he did?"  
"Well Sir Kaneosuke's been offering a reward for any information on Sir Ryoga the Wolf's Fang. If you tell me what you know, I might just open the gate."  
"Sir Ryoga was last seen in the village of Tubitytub, but was tragically killed by a rampaging ferret, can we go through now?" Trinatsu said.  
"Nope."  
"What? Why not?" Drinian demanded,  
The guard shrugged. "I'm waiting for it to open same's you lot. I'm not the guard here, I was part of a caravan and I got left behind 'cause I had to take care of some business in the bushes. Thanks for the information though, might be worth a gold piece or two to that stuck up old popinjay, Kaneosuke . . . any of ye know what a 'popinjay' is?"  
Drinian scowled, thoroughly fed up with it all. "All right, we'll burn down the gate!"  
"Or we can go to the north gate, t'is no more than a five minute ride." A soldier said.  
"Yeah, no need to be so violent all the time, Drin." Trinatsu scoffed. "We can just use a different gate, we're not animals."  
Drinian frowned at them. He didn't normally react this way to their care-free, somewhat insubordinate attitudes, but somehow he had a terrible feeling about this day, and so far their luck had done nothing to shake it.  
She would have his head for this, he knew! But it had to be done, and she would come to her senses, she'd see that this was the correct corse.  
Or so Kaneosuke told himself as he prepared for the execution of the former royal family.  
Nabiatrix had chosen the path of conquest, family would only prove to be a weakness as time went on, if she would not do away with them Kaneosuke would relieve her of all guilt and responsibility.  
He would execute the former king, and the former princess himself.  
He'd killed off the Dirt ambassadors without Nabiatrix protesting too heavily, he could do this too.  
And even if she didn't come to her senses, his forces still made up the bulk of her reliable military, she wouldn't dare discipline him.

Kaneosuke examined himself in the mirror, he had to look good for the execution. A chain mail suit with a long red cloak over his shoulders, matching gloves and boots as red as blood, and a pair of evil looking flails at his waist.  
His two score (forty) legionnaires ready to march behind him, ready to head for the prison tower.  
Yes . . . he looked good. Pretty darn good. How could Nabiatrix resist this? Oh well, he'd get her out of his mind by focusing on the other most important thing in life: slaughtering the helpless and innocent.

To Be Continued . . .


	7. Where You're Needed!

Disclaimer: I make mention of but do not own Dynasty Warriors 5

Two things, first One hundred and one apologies for the tardiness of this update, just been really busy lately y'know? What with writing 5 fan fictions at once it's hard to remember which one's next on the update list, and fan fiction isn't the only thing I write either, and let us not forget that at this time Dynasty Warriors 5 has recently come out and Ling Tong somehow found a way to make nunchuks cool, and . . . well yeah, that's probably the real reason I'm late. Gotta love Wu!  
Second, Ranma's curse is revealed during the planning session in chapter 3, Ranmorgan's reaction was one of pleasure because this meant he could send Ranma without implementing himself. Ranma's curse showed itself again in the next chapter when his horse kicked him into a water troth and Arkane inquired to see if Ranma was still alive.

A Dragon Called Ranma!  
Part/Chapter VI!  
Where You're Needed!

Over the course of her years Nabiatrix had known many pains and pleasures. Finding herself in the castle Letom (the castle of beautiful men) was for example, a great pleasure. Learning that the beautiful men were only interested in other beautiful men was a heart breaking pain.  
At first not having to argue with, or listen to her sister argue with Ryoga had been a fantastic pleasure. But as time wore on and she came to understand the Dragon Slayer's true purpose in her life it became a mind wrenching pain!  
When Nabiatrix had decided that she would take over her father's country she felt a slight pain because it meant betraying her family. But as her plans began to come together, and as Kaneosuke became her pawn she knew great pleasure, even excitement.  
This was her destiny after all, she was to rule the land . . .  
She was a conqueror and a liberator, a creator and a destroyer and there was a mixed pain and pleasure in that knowledge.  
But there was no pleasure whatsoever in listening to her daily royal audiences! This was a real pain, she was hoping to appoint a regent to take over this nonsense, but there was no one she could trust enough not to usurp the power she'd tried so hard to steal.  
It was not that she was no good at ruling over her people, she could quite easily handle these matters, it was simply that they bored her to no end, most of them were just nobles presenting her with gifts so she'd listen to them defame some other noble who's name she'd forget shortly after it was spoken.  
Not that she was forgetful, she simply didn't care enough to remember.  
Ah yes, the duke of Scrubingbubbing had slept with the countess of Bubblytub, so sayeth the count of  
Bubblytub, and he kindly suggested that Empress Nabiatrix demote the duke, oh and by the way, here's a fantastic golden dragon statue.  
Later, after forgetting the incident all together the duke of Scrubingbubbing had shown up with a golden gryphon statue, and ah yes, count Bubblytub had gone and slept with duchess Scrubingbubbing now.  
Both men became united in calling Nabiatrix a tyrant when she made three declarations: First: they were to trade wives. Second: their gifts were to be melted down into golden chastity belts. Third: it would be them, not their wives, would wear said belts.  
It was the third declaration that upset them, but Nabiatrix was sure it would become quite the fashion statement.  
She remembered when she'd tuned sixteen and been forced to wear a chastity belt . . . not much pleasure in that memory, she was quite sure that if men were forced to wear them they'd soon stop forcing their wives to do the same, she'd be worshiped by other women.  
However her apparent interest in maintaining chastity had netted her the title of "White Virgin Empress", which was not exactly accurate, another pain in the neck.  
And this was a normal day in her life now; sitting in an uncomfortable throne wishing she could be somewhere else instead of listening to the people seeking audience tell her about nonsense she didn't care about for hours.  
Of course when they clouded her mind with their trivial nonsense she was unable to focus on Sir Ryoga, which was becoming more and more of a plus.  
It had seemed he was not coming after all . . .  
It _had_ seemed he was not coming . . .  
But now here he was!  
"You are certain it is him?" Nabiatrix asked the soldier calmly.  
The little man nodded vigorously, "He was at the gate empress, the officer on duty reluctantly let him through."  
Nabiatrix laughed a humorless laugh. "You're telling me that after this wait sir Ryoga might actually have been sent away from us at the gates?" The crowd of nobles shared her laugh, it made Nabiatrix slightly uncomfortable, didn't these people have the ability to decide for themselves what was and was not funny?  
Did they need laugh simply because she did?  
"Shall I have the officer reprimanded?" The soldier asked nervously.  
"Of course not, he did his duty he should be commended." Nabiatrix said thoughtfully. "We cannot have just any riffraff sneaking into our fine city."  
"Then what are your orders? How shall we proceed?" The soldier asked.  
"Obviously when you see sir Ryoga and his men, you are to let them through to this room." Nabiatrix said.  
She stood up--and noticed any noble who had been sitting did the same--and said, "At last, the Dragon  
Slayer has come, and with him, our hour of conquest!"

Arkane frowned at her husband, who was pacing back and forth. She looked to the perverted wizard--who was washing a large pile of undergarments, some of which Arkane recognized as her own.  
Happerlin was too content in his washing duties to offer any explanation, so Arkane stepped forward and put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "My love, what troubles you?" She asked.  
"The amulets don't work!" Ranmorgan exploded, he turned to the wizard, "Are ye mad? Are ye completely mad?"  
"Madder every second my darlings remain unwashed. They reek of womanly parts." Happerlin said in a sing song voice as he washed yet another pair, this one Arkane recognized as having gone missing that night last week when she and Ranmorgan had . . . well anyway that's none of your business.  
"What's the actual purpose of having them? I thought you wanted them to reek of woman?" Arkane wondered. Before the little old man was just perverted and scary, now he was perverted and confusing.  
Happerlin looked at the pile of washed undergarments, then the pile of unwashed undergarments. He leapt into one, then the other, then emerged and looked up at Ranmorgan and Arkane . . . he frowned and began to cry. "I've ruined them! I've ruined them!"  
"The amulets old man!" Ranmorgan raged, "Tell me ye were just joking! Tell me they'll take the men where they need'ta be going!"  
"Oh boo-hoo! One pile is lemony fresh and clean, the other is sinfully lustfully filthy! I can give up neither one, oh the pain, the torment, the suffering!"  
"The amulets ye old kook!" Ranmorgan cried.  
Happerlin scowled, "I told'ja, my boy, the amulets will take them exactly where they need to be."  
Arkane nodded to her husband, who didn't seem to have calmed down in the least. "What's wrong my dear?" Arkane asked, "Is that not what the amulets are meant to do?"  
"They are supposed to lead them where I need them t'be." Ranmorgan said unhappily.  
"While casting the spell, I didn't specify whose needs had to be met." Happerlin admitted. "So according to my crystal ball, Sir Ryoga's amulet is leading him to Nabiatrix who seems to need him an awful lot, and  
Dame Ranko's amulet is leading her to the prisoners because apparently the sons of the regents are eagerly awaiting a belly dancer promised to them by the prison warden for good behavior."  
"Dame Ranko is a belly dancer?" Arkane gasped in surprise.  
"Never mind that! At least she's going in the right direction, who knows what'll happen if Sir Ryoga and Nabiatrix meet?"  
"If we're lucky he'll probably give in to her seduction, work with her towards your impending doom and her impending conquest, sire her children and then be killed six years from now in a military coup launched by an enraged and jealous Sir Kaneosuke." Happerlin said with a shrug. "If we're unlucky . . . well, I dont want to think about what'll happen if we're unlucky."  
"That's it! Arkane help me, I'm gonna drown this perverted pipsqueek in the washing bucket!" Ranmorgan scowled, rolling up his sleeves. Arkane and Ranmorgan's guards rushed forward not to help him, but to hold him back.

Ryoga and his men had fought long and hard to reach the top of the tower, by 'fought' of course they had bluffed their way past each and every guard.  
How this had managed to work was beyond poor Ryoga, but the fact was that it had managed to work!  
Guards just kept stepping out of his way, it was crazy!  
He certainly hoped Nabiatrix wasnt paying them too much!  
His magical amulet just kept pointing the way to where he wanted to go--the prisoners of course--and he just kept following it.  
"Stereo repair." Ryoga grunted half heartedly to the next pair of guards, who stepped asside and opened the door for him. "Paramedics, here for the botched circumcision." Ryoga sighed to the next group, the guards stepped asside and opened the door even faster than the last group had, even though Ryoga was fairly sure that paramedics and circumcisions didnt exist in this world. Not yet anyway.  
"Your powers of persuasion are truly incredible Sir Ryoga!" One the commandos said.  
"No . . ." Ryoga said with a frown, "I think the guards are just lazy. Either that or we're being led into a trap. We'll ask the next group."  
Ryoga reached the next group of guards, ten halberdiers standing like statues in front of a large wooden door decorated with gold and silver . . . it was so familiar, Ryoga could have sworn he'd seen it somewhere before . . . where?  
Before he could even speak a word the guards opened the doors for him and hurried his men and him into the room.  
Ryoga wanted to scream, but he didnt. It was no prison, it was the royal audience chamber! It was jam packed with people wearing fancy cloths and giving him and his men snooty glances.  
Ryoga scratched his chin. This wasnt right.  
"Remove your hoods!" A guard commanded in a loud voice that seemed to carry through the entire room, even over the mumur of the nobles.  
Ryoga raised his hand in order to his men to do no such thing. Instead their hands drew near to their sabers.  
They began to back away slowly.  
Until the doors slammed shut behind them, cutting off their escape, and no less than twenty crimson legionaires emerged from within the crowd of nobles, swords drawn.  
Ryoga looked at his men, they looked at him, he couldnt see their faces because of course they were covered by hoods. The hoods of course allowed them to see out without allowing others to see in, but it was a little fuzzy.  
Mousse would never have been able to do it.  
"Remove your hoods, please." The guard repeated, this time managing to be even louder yet remain unthreatening. "You stand now in the presence of the supreme empress!"  
Ryoga considered for a moment, then decided to remove his hood after all.  
His men followed, and immediately the room came to life with conversation, most of it was about him, but some of the noble women seemed to recognize his men as well.  
The twenty legionaires--actually now that he could see clearlyit was more like thirty--rose their swords in salute to the Dragon Slayer, as if that had been their plan the whole time, of course Ryoga knew it hadn't been.  
"You are permitted to approach the imperial throne." The guard said in a yet louder voice.  
Ryoga and his men walked up to the throne slowly, cautiously, the Dirt soldiers kept their hands on the hilt of their sabers, ready to draw them in self defense if these legionnaires attacked. Ryoga looked up at the throne and the beautiful young woman sitting on it.  
Of course it was Nabiatrix, wearing a golden tiara and an old fashion--well Ryoga supposed it was probably new now--dress that would probably take hours just to get on.  
Ryoga was a little annoyed wth himself when the thought of how long it might take her to get if off wandered through his mind. He was supposed to be here to topple her regim, not fantacise about her lovely, well curved figure.  
And he shouldnt be so unfaithful to Akane either! Well . . . technically Akane hadnt been born yet so it wasnt cheating. And he hadnt confessed his love for her either so it was still further, not cheating . . . no court could convict him if he just . . . bleh, he'd know it in his heart.  
And the thought of Akane waiting for him--the thought, and not fact, was what mattered to Ryoga--gave him extra strength! "Nabiki--er Nabiatrix!" Ryoga said in a commanding voice, "I have come to--"  
"Do not adress the empress in such a familiar fashion!" One of the guards cried, lunging for Ryoga.  
Ryoga grabbed the guard's halberd and meant to rip it out of his hands and throw it away.  
Instead he threw the guard halfway across the room and kept the halberd. There were a lot of impressed and frightened gasps so Ryoga decided to act as if he'd meant to do that. He leaned against the ancient weapon--again, he supposed now it was quite new--and raised his eyebrows at the other guards. "Anyone else want to tell me how to speak?"  
Nabiatrix clapped her hands and laughed. "Magnificent! Magnificent, you've grown stronger since last I saw you!"  
"Yeah, right, anything you say. Now look, We're here to--"  
"Moment! A moment!" Nabiatrix commanded. She clapped her hands and shouted, "Privacy, this instant!"  
And her guards began herding everyone out of the room, including Ryoga's soldiers, leaving him alone with Nabiatrix and a pair of tough looking knights.  
Or rather, tough looking armored soldiers, weren't knights supposed to be elite generals? He really wasn't sure.  
"So . . ." Nabiatrix purred, "the time has come at last."  
"Yes . . ." Ryoga shifted uneasily. Was she this excited about being overthrown? Well she'd probably had her kicks, maybe being empress was too much trouble for her.  
"Now that you're with me, things can finally move forward." Nabiatrix nodded. "I've waited so long."  
"Uh . . . oh-ho . . ." Ryoga scratched his chin. This wasn't really going the way he wanted it to, he sort of felt like he needed to take control of this situation.  
"But now that you've returned to fulfill your promise--"  
"Promise, you say?" Ryoga raised his eyebrows, this time in confusion.  
"Yes of course, your promise to return in the event of a crisis. You swore to me that you'd come back to me!" Nabiatrix hissed, clutching the arm rests of her throne so tightly Ryoga almost expected her to leave claw marks in the marble.  
"Of course I did. And I have." Ryoga shrugged.  
Nabiatrix calmed down instantly, "Of course you have. You're a man of honor." She smiled. "And now that you've come back to me we can crush Dirt! Imagine the Dragon Prince's shock when the Dragon Slayer comes to offer him a rematch!"  
"Uh . . . right." Ryoga nodded. "Crush Dirt, that's what we're going to do. Of course." He thought for a moment . . . "Empress, I want to see the prisoners." He said with a calmness he didn't really feel.  
"The prisoners?" Nabiatrix raised one eyebrow. Then she frowned, "Ah, I expect you've heard about Lady Ukygowain's imprisonment then."  
"Yes . . ." Ryoga nodded. "But I also want to see Kunobir."  
"Whatever for?" Nabiatrix raised her eyebrows.  
"War stories." Ryoga shrugged.  
"Men!" Nabiatrix sighed, but she sounded amused. "Very well! I shall take you there myself!"  
"Splendid. Just the two of us." Ryoga forced a smile.  
"And a score of guards." Nabiatrix nodded.  
"Ah yes, of course. And my soldiers as well." Ryoga nodded.  
"You do not trust my guards?" Nabiatrix asked.  
"Well one of them did charge at me." Ryoga scoffed.  
Nabiatrix nodded. "I understand. Very well, you will take your guards, and I shall take with me a number equal to your own, so that you might feel completely safe and comfortable. There will be no betrayals between us, dear Sir Ryoga." The empress seemed very pleased with her compromise.  
'No betrayals? Yeah right.' Ryoga thought. That was the plan all the time, wasn't it? To topple the power of a young woman who had been his adventuring companion. He wouldn't go so far as to call her a friend, though she certainly seemed to count him as one.  
No matter. He'd do what needed to be done and be done with it.

The carriage ride to the prison tower was a pleasant one, Nabiatrix had never been more pleased.  
Ryoga had returned, at last she could rule both kingdoms! Ryoga was of course the key to power, Tatewakay and Ukygowain would be welcome additions to her military if sir Ryoga did manage to convert them, but in the end now that she had Ryoga with her they were nothing!  
Ranmorgan of Sand would stand no chance, not with the power Sir Ryoga possessed, and now that he'd come that power was Nabiatrix's!  
They reached the tower and Nabiatrix and Ryoga, flanked by their guards proceeded carefully up the stairs, Nabiatrix latching onto Ryoga's arm as if she were a drunken sixteen year old, she made small talk but he seemed distracted, as if having a girl holding onto his arm made him nervous. But surely a hero of his caliber had bedded thousands of farmer's daughters, Nabiatrix's light flirtations should have meant nothing.  
Likely he was concerned with the poor decoration of the tower, Nabiatrix would have to have the decorator flogged.  
She decided, as the came near to their destination, to ask Sir Ryoga what she had waited so long to ask him, to tell him what she had waited so long to tell him!  
"Sir Ryoga . . . I wonder . . . have you mastered the secrets of the book of spells you took from the castle Letom?"  
"Hmm? I've looked through it." Ryoga said nervously.  
Nabiatrix frowned. "Surely you are being modest, one does not simply 'look through' a book of powerful spells!"  
"T-they seemed pretty simple." Ryoga gulped. "Arcane hand gestures are," he gulped again, "pretty similar to those found in martial arts, a few complicated words. Kind of interesting, but I didn't really have time to study it. A-are we there yet?"  
"Nearly . . ." Nabiatrix said calmly. She heard an odd sound, but couldn't really recognize it. It was vaguely familiar. "Tell me, Sir Ryoga, you do still have to book, do you not?"  
"Hmm? Yeah." Ryoga nodded.  
Nabiatrix squeezed his arm, and giggled seductively, "Perhaps . . . I could have it?"  
"What?" Ryoga seemed surprised. "You want the book?"  
"Why yes . . ." Nabiatrix said, wondering if perhaps she should have gotten him drunk before asking. Those in possession of such powerful magical items rarely just gave them up.  
"Well . . . I guess so. But you've gotta do something for me in exchange, okay?" Ryoga said, sounding more sure of himself now.  
"Anything!" Nabiatrix giggled, pretty sure after all her flirting that she knew what he'd want from her. "I would be happy to do anything you ask me to, in exchange for that spell--er book. Spell book. Yes, I meant the book." Nabiatrix held his arm even tighter.  
But before Ryoga could speak the price of that ultimate power, that ultimate spell, Nabiatrix recognized the sounds she was hearing, and Sir Ryoga seemed to recognize them as well.  
The sounds of battle, a terrible song emphasized by the clang of sword against sword.  
Her guards rushed forward and opened the large doors to the prison chamber . . .  
Nabiatrix rushed forward to take a look, she saw several gray cloaked warriors, like Ryoga's, their hoods pulled back and their sabers flashing as they engaged Kaneosuke's personal entourage.  
She looked at Sir Ryoga . . . these were his mercenaries, were they not? Their sabers . . . were the sort that the soldiers of Dirt carried . . . why would they have them?  
And what was Kaneosuke doing in the tower with such a large force? What was happening?  
"Kaneosuke!" Nabiatrix screamed, trying to make sense of the situation, "What are you doing?"

Ryoga looked at the scene in surprise!  
Curses! Curses, he'd had her right were he wanted her, he could have traded her the book for the prisoners, everyone would get what they wanted and no one had to get hurt!  
But no, of all the rotten luck that blasted red knight had been in the tower at just that moment!  
Without thinking he took his bandanna from his head and straightened it into a sort of dagger, he grabbed  
Nabiatrix and held her close, raising the blade to her neck.  
He didn't say "freeze" or "drop your weapons or the empress gets it!" he didn't know what to say.  
Nabiatrix tried to remain very still, but Ryoga could feel her trembling. She managed to sound quite confident when she said, "I certainly hope for your sake, that you're just being over protective, Sir Ryoga. Now let me go."  
Kaneosuke glared at Ryoga, and Ryoga glared right back.  
He'd never liked that red knight, and now he could see the feeling was quite mutual, for some reason that made him feel just a little braver.  
"I see." Nabiatrix said calmly. "I thought we were not to betray each other, Ryoga."  
Ryoga loosened his grip a bit . . . he knew it was time to make a decision.  
Quick thinking wasn't always his thing . . .  
Nabiatrix was evil, she had to be stopped, her reign of terror had to end!  
Of course he hadn't really heard her side of the story . . . just what Ranmorgan had told him. And  
Ranmorgan of course had wanted him to overthrow Nabiatrix the whole time . . .  
Who could he trust? What was he to do?  
"Release the empress!" Kaneosuke shouted.  
"Waste the chick!" Ranko shouted.

To Be Continued . . .

What will Ryoga do? Oh I just cant wait for the next exciting chapter! I wonder when it will be finished! P


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